Recently I did something really, really selfish. Something I can’t really afford and definitely do not have time for. Right now I feel pretty sure I made the wrong decision. I may end up changing my mind and getting my money back.

What did I do, you might be wondering. New computer? Spa vacation by myself? New designer purse? I WISH. Those are all things this girl could get excited about, even if I am trying to live as a minimally consuming radical homemaker.

I just made a 12-month commitment to myself by joining Precision Nutrition’s latest Lean Eating online cohort. To prevent my blog from becoming an unintentional advertisement, you can check out Lean Eating to get the scoop on this online coaching program.

Why on earth I would agree to daily workouts done at less than ideal times, dietary changes that incorporate new and unfamiliar habits, and an online coach who will be holding me accountable for my level or progress/participation? Truth be told, there is a huge part of me that doesn’t want to make this commitment and can’t quite believe I went ahead and made it anyway, behind my very own back!

Taking back your body

Having spent the last year in an almost constant prenatal and postpartum body, I have had enough. The crush of working and childrearing has transformed me into a hollow shell of myself, with no extra energy or motivation. Three babies later, I am 20 pounds heavier than I was, which isn’t so bad in itself, but my body no longer feels like mine. Anyone else know what I’m talking about? Sure changes are to be expected, but I don’t like how I feel in my own skin anymore.

My diet is also not what I’d like it to be. I regularly eat discarded toddler scraps over my kitchen sink and call it lunch. Six corn kernels, some chewed on bread crust and a discarded leaf of spinach do not equal a meal. No surprise that later I am ravenous and make some questionable decisions when at the Starbuck’s drive thru. I tell myself the extra fat is okay; after all I am still breastfeeding. But really, short of breastfeeding a small army of babies, I know that I am finding easy comfort within chocolate chip cookies and iced coffees with cream.

Save the pep talk

For those of you who might be tempted to tell me (or any mom) that making time for ourselves is as simple as making ourselves a priority, well, kindly save your lecture.

I’m sorry if that sounds harsh, but those well-intended “pep-talks” send me racing towards an iced frappacino, venti please. I already know I need to find a way, to make time, to put myself first, to make myself a priority – these clichés are endless.

Bottom line? You are right on all accounts. Insert teenage eye rolling here. Because I know you’re right (AKA to shut you up) and to quiet a similar voice within myself, I decided to seek support from a team that can help me succeed.

A special wish for all of the moms out there who don’t have the strength to do more than brush your teeth today:

Know that I believe in you and that I hope you enjoy those frothy, fleeting seconds where it’s just you and Tom’s of Maine. Maybe tomorrow you’ll be able to shower. And maybe the day after that, you’ll find the strength to take on a bigger goal, even if it means asking for help.

How have you stayed motivated to get healthy while strapped for time? Share in the comments.

Sarah M. is a social media marketer and birth doula in training who lives in Denver, CO, with her twin toddlers, husband and newborn. Read her blog.

Photo: MD Anderson